One Liner Naughty Jokes

Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot.

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.

Who stopped payment on my reality check?

Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Double your drive space. Delete Windows!

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.


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