One Liner Clean jokes

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

Don’t get married, find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It’s a lot easier on you.

Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

We have enough youth: how about a fountain of “smart”?

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

I wouldn’t touch the metric system with a 3.048m pole!

Two wrongs do not make a right, but three lefts do.

A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.

Alzheimer’s advantage: New friends every day.

Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen events.

Have you seen Quasimodo? I have a hunch he’s back!

Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!

I’ve got a mind like a.. a.. what’s that thing called?

If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.