Hilarious Jokes One Liner

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!

A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

Lord, if I can’t be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.

Be nice to your kids: they’ll choose your nursing home.

It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

Two rights do not make a wrong, they make an airplane.

Under my gruff exterior lies an even gruffer interior.

Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.

Hard work pays off in the future, but laziness pays off now.

Somebody who knows how will always have a job. Working for someone who knows why.

Bombs don’t kill people, explosions kill people.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

“If the shoe fits, buy it.” – Imelda Marcos

As long as I can remember, I’ve had amnesia.

Bigamy: one wife too many. Monogamy: same thing

Advertisements